Femme Royale: My Fight For Purpose

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior”
-Oceans (Where Feet My Fail)
What a Psalm! It was a heavy week I remember when this song was sung in the worship service. 2014 has been a whirlwind heck of a ride for me, from a family issue I’ve always seen coming to sudden career movements. The stresses, to sum them all, felt like they added years and mustered a tiny army of wrinkles on my face. I was desperately seeking God (next the Dermatologist, then the massage therapist) on what to do next. Then boom! Visions and Confirmations! I finally came to a point where following God without buts and doubts became a reality. Though fear is real, My God is here.
Priorities.
Hey, I’m a mom now. Wave to all moms out there! Especially to the working ones.
Hate that I was excellent at work, yet missing out on the Little Prince’s milestones. I missed cooking for my family. I missed having enough quality time with my husband. I missed organizing the house and making it a safe, happy place to live in. There’s gotta be life outside work. Don’t get me wrong; work is good, but the 8-hr daily work plus daily commute (which meant 14-15 hrs away from my Prince and King), no longer suit me. Most people can maintain a good work-life balance, but not me. I realized that I only have one life to live, one roller coaster ride, so it got to be worth it. My epitaph should go like any of this:
“She took in all the wonders of life, wrapped them in a colorful package and gave it to us.” (source: google)
“A good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23)
“The Mother Queen of mighty kings and queens who fear and obey God.”
I think I like the last one. But seriously, time is one limited resource. I know its value, my clients know its cost (that’s what they’re paying for), thus the need to use it wisely. Hence the question, “Am I spending my time for something eternally great?” If you asked me that a few months ago, I guess my answer would be “No” or “Maybe” or “I hope”.
Purpose.
“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,  teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Matthew 28: 19-20
So, what’s next for me? I’m going back to my core! That’s my beauty pageant answer.
To teach, disciple and mentor women. To go to the nations. To make beautiful events. To HONOR GOD.
After knowing the very purpose I exist came the plan. Let’s not set aside the realities that I am in, please; I’m still human in need of food, shelter and clothing. I didn’t leave my career in marketing to be eternally lazy, rather I am off to continue what I have started – to strengthen the business I once tried to abandon, the very place where God is setting my feet on. Jonah Light bulb Moment! Stress maybe inevitable, but knowing that my obedience glorifies God means so much more.
Hey, If you think God called you in the job you are in now, no matter how hard the trials and testing maybe, STAY!
Now, I know I’m ready for 2015! I am still adjusting and still in pruning, yet through God’s grace and faithfulness I have already shifted from “I must not fail now” to “I will not fail!” I am certain that God will accomplish what He has purposed.
Pouring my heart out,
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